


I Saw Nami Kissing Santa Claus

by funkdoc1112



Category: One Piece
Genre: Christmas Fluff, F/M, Naive Chopper, Spot the Family Guy reference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-11
Updated: 2015-11-11
Packaged: 2018-05-01 03:26:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5190401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/funkdoc1112/pseuds/funkdoc1112
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the night before Christmas, Chopper sneaks away from his bed in hopes of meeting the jolly St. Nicholas, but ends up getting a lot more than he bargained for. The only thing certain is that Sanji...probably won't be pleased with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Saw Nami Kissing Santa Claus

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Sunny…not a creature was stirring, not even an Usopp Dummy. The stockings were hung around the boat with care, and…oh, you know the freaking poem by now. Most of the Straw Hats were sound asleep, optimistic about Christmas after ignoring Nami’s meticulously budgeted Christmas shopping plans, but old enough to not possess the head-over-heels excitement that children usually display at this time of the year. But there was still one Straw Hat, one Straw Hat that firmly believed in the miracle of Christmas, and he was the one creature that _was_ stirring.

Chopper shifted restlessly in his bunk in the men’s room, quivering in anticipation of the incoming morning. Just the thought that Santa Claus was possibly on their ship delivering their presents at the moment left him incapable of sleep. Despite being a reindeer, Chopper had never seen St. Nicholas for himself, a fact that always chewed at his side. And now here he was, awake in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve. The doctor had a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity on his hands.

If he walked out of the room right now, maybe he would see Santa strolling into the Aquarium bar, where they had their Christmas tree beautifully set up!

In fact, perhaps one of Santa’s reindeer sustained an injury, and he requested the best doctor of the seas to nurse the animal back to health!

Or maybe, a desperate Santa would lament about his need for a replacement reindeer in order for his nighttime journey to go smoothly. And then Chopper would reassure him that he had nothing to worry about before showing off his reindeer transformation. _He_ would be the replacement and join Santa in spreading Christmas joy to families everywhere!

Chopper couldn’t take it anymore. He burst out from his bed with sparkles in his eyes. His other male cohorts were resting in their bunks, sound asleep….save for one person. Luffy was curiously nowhere to be found. Even though Sanji made a clear warning that he’d “beat the shit out of him” for it, the greedy captain had clearly snuck away to steal the milk and cookies.

Chopper shrieked in alarm. What if Luffy started a fight with Santa over the small meal?! Then Santa would get so mad that he wouldn’t give them their presents!

“I’ve got to hurry!” Chopper resolved as he ran out of the men’s quarters. With vigor in his step, he raced across the ship, enduring the gust of cold air, and skidded in his tracks when he reached the door to the Aquarium, which was already creaked open.

_What if I’m too late?!_ Chopper murmured to himself. He inched closer to the door, and as he peered inside he was surprised by the sounds of laughter he was hearing from the room. It wasn’t the deep, boisterous bellows of “Ho! Ho! Ho!” that he was expecting…in fact it was soft, playful giggles that could only belong to Nami. Chopper let out a relieved breath; clearly Nami had anticipated Luffy’s thievery just as he did and came inside to take care of the situation! Maybe she and Santa were chatting it up while Luffy was lying somewhere in agony!

Chopper suddenly became very nervous. As he felt His Jollyness’ presence drawing closer and closer towards him, he grew more intimidated. He decided to watch from the doorway in hiding…and of course, he did it the wrong way and left his legs out. The naïve doctor leaned forward so he could hear the conversation…

_“Hey ‘Santa,’ you know I’ve been a bad girl all year…you gonna put me on the naughty list?”_

Chopper quizzically arched his eyebrow. There was a huskiness in Nami’s voice that struck him as odd, as if she was trying to entice Santa. _Oh no! Dammit Nami, I should’ve known better than to trust you! You must be trying to get all of the presents for yourself!_

_“Wait, why would you want that? That would mean you wouldn’t get any gifts,”_ said another voice in the room.

_“No, I was just teas– oh, never mind, you idiot…”_

Nami giggled yet again, while Chopper grew more bemused. Obviously, she was talking to Santa. Yet the voice that responded to her clearly sounded like Luffy. And that was the least of his concerns, because Nami’s laughter melted into heavy, delighted sighs; soon, all he could hear was the distinct sound of saliva and mouths smacking.

Fed up with only hearing what was happening, Chopper leaned his head to the side to see what Nami was doing, and what he saw made his jaw nearly hit the floor. Nami was perched on the lap of the man who was clearly Santa, holding him tightly by his neck and feasting upon his mouth like it was a bucket of tangerines. The shock of the heated kissing session – clearly leading elsewhere, judging from how “Santa” was grasping at the white fur trim of Nami’s red crop-top – was one thing, as it reduced Chopper to bewildered shudders. But Santa’s appearance had stunned Chopper as well. Had it not been for the unmistakable red hat and white beard, and the red and white jacket lying disheveled near his feet, Chopper would have mistaken the considerably slimmer St. Nick for his very own Captain!

_S-Sanji is definitely not gonna like this!_

Chopper feverishly retreated to the men’s quarters and leaped back in his bunk, fiercely closing his eyes to force his slumber and remove that image from his mind. Who would have thought Santa was such a lech, and that Nami had a thing for fabled saints?! This was a mess, a real mess, and Chopper had to do everything he could to make sure Sanji didn’t catch wind of this. The words the mercurial cook would shout would most assuredly give the Straw Hats a permanent spot on the Naughty List…though evidently Nami wouldn’t have a problem with that.

Several minutes later, Chopper still couldn’t sleep, and his insomnia was stirred on by the sounds of footsteps entering the room. Chopper squawked a breathless gasp, saying “ _Please don’t be Sanji going to the Aquarium”_ repeatedly in his thoughts. Rolling over slightly, Chopper partially opened one eye so he could see where the steps were coming from. He was relieved when he saw Luffy heading for his bed and heaving a contented sigh. But when Chopper saw Luffy wipe off his lips, he remembered the milk  & cookies! Chopper had been so flabbergasted by Santa and Nami’s tryst that he’d forgotten all about Luffy’s sweet tooth.

Then again, it looked like Nami had the jolly sender of gifts rather, erm…preoccupied anyway. Chopper opted to get some rest instead of worrying himself. Maybe next year.

* * *

 

“WAAAAAAAAAKE UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPP!!!!”

If the other male Straw Hats weren’t awake already, the piercing shout of their captain sure as hell changed that. Though he’d long stopped believing in Santa, Luffy was always filled with the Christmas Spirit, not to mention he had a particularly good Christmas Eve that let him sleep well.

Sanji, Usopp, Brook, and Franky groggily arose from their beds, mostly complaining about Luffy’s jumpiness. Chopper, on the other hand, leapt from his bed with as much joy and excitement as Luffy. There was one particular Straw Hat who was still sleeping, however…

“I hear we already have plenty of eggnog out!” Luffy announced.

“I’m up, I’m up.” Zoro wiped some crust out of his eyes and lazily left his bed as well.

Brook was able to dust off his sleepiness rather quickly. “YO HO HO! Merry Christmas!”

Out on the ship, Nami and Robin had already been waiting for the boys to arrive. At the sight of Nami, Chopper broke out into nervous quivers and glued his eyes to the floor, although she didn’t notice.

“Why good morning, Luffy,” Nami happily said, greeting the captain with a smile that was ever-so subtly sly. Luffy returned her greeting.

Though Sanji was still annoyed about Luffy waking him up so early, the sight of the two lovely ladies made the Christmas spirit within him surge in joyful, perverted glee.

“MERRY CHRISTMAS NAMI-SWAN, ROBIN DEAREST! Shall I start on Christmas breakfast for you two?!” The Cook’s twirled closer to Nami and Robin with eyes that had long since melted into hearts.

“Nah, it can wait,” Nami dismissed. “Let’s just get our presents already!”

“Don’t know why you’re in such a rush,” Zoro scoffed. “You sure as hell didn’t end up on the Nice List.”

“Oh, can it, Zoro. Besides, I’ve already had enough coal in my stocking for one day,” Nami coyly replied with a smirk. The other Straw Hats missed the snicker that escaped Luffy’s lips.

“LET’S GO!” Luffy darted past the girls and barged into the Aquarium. He was so eager to get his gifts that he aimlessly tossed everyone else’s around the room, to their chagrin. Before he could rip the wrapping off of his first gift, he was clobbered on the head by Nami.

“Calm your rubber ass down! If you break all of our presents I’m taking the One Piece for myself!” Nami warned.

“Okay, Mrs. Claus,” Luffy drawled with his face shoved into the elaborately decorated Christmas tree. Chopper found his comment to be a little strange.

While Luffy sulked on the floor, the Straw Hat Pirates unwrapped their various gifts – they made sure Chopper’s were signed by “Santa,” of course – and exchanged gratitude. Some of the crew opted for more humorous gifts to rib each other.

“Oh, what the hell is this?!” Zoro grumbled, snarling at the bright, neon-colored box for a toy compass that he was squeezing in his hands so tightly that his intent to break it was clear. As if the insult beating him on the head enough, the box was labeled for pre-school aged children. “This wasn’t even the least bit funny!”

“Jeez, mosshead, not even a thank you?” Sanji snickered from behind Zoro with a maddening smirk. “The mentally disabled need to improve with baby steps; I was just looking out for you.”

Zoro turned around menacingly stepped to his rival until he noticed the box he had in his hand. When he recognized the wrapping around it, his anger gave way to smug amusement. “Enjoy your laughs for now, cook.”

Sanji was mystified by Zoro’s remark but nonetheless unwrapped the box in his hands. Beneath the green and white wrapping was a blindingly pink, shiny box – clearly denoting an item meant for women – that contained a set of tweezers and wax.

“What the hell do I need this shit for?!” Sanji growled, squeezing the box just as Zoro did his.

“Just tryin’ to help you finally get rid of these eyesores.” Zoro had the same infuriating smugness in his voice that Sanji had just moments ago. He inched closer towards him and roughly flicked the top of his swirly eyebrow. It was all the action Sanji needed to trigger an intense brawl all throughout the Aquarium.

“Cut it out, you two! You’re gonna wreck the tree!” Usopp shouted, holding a haphazardly built slingshot that looked like it was going to break at any second (courtesy of Luffy) in one hand, and Pinocchio doll (courtesy of Robin) in the other.

“Yeah, and you better not get anything on the _SUPER_ sweaters I got for you all!” Of course, said sweaters were lying in a pile in front of Franky’s feet. They were the most horrendous set of Christmas sweaters perhaps ever seen by mankind, green and red vessels of cluttered, poorly drawn Christmas motifs. But that couldn’t stop the perpetually confident and self-assured cyborg from proudly sporting one himself.

Nami, with an unwrapped box in her hand, gingerly stepped over the unconscious body of Brook – she wasn’t amused by his “All I want for Christmas is your panties” card – and walked up to Chopper, who was eagerly unwrapping his gifts.

“They say this is the freshest soil you can find on the Grand Line. I’ll be able to plant some healthy tangerine trees with this stuff. Thanks, Chopper! This is an awesome gift you picked!”

The sound of Nami’s voice made the reindeer squeak and drop his boxes. He reluctantly turned to face her and tepidly stared at the ground yet again. “S-sure…”

“Hm?” Nami crouched down to hear Chopper more clearly, as his voice was barely above a mumble. The closer she got, the more Chopper quivered. She was befuddled by his behavior, as for one thing he wasn’t insulting her while betraying his actual gratitude with a goofy grin and happy dance, and her presence just seemed to frighten him.

“What’s wrong, Chopper?” She asked.

“Nothing at all!” Chopper shrieked before turning his back to her.

“Weird.” Nami shrugged and chalked it up to him just being too overwhelmed by the Christmas spirit.

While everyone started gathering their gifts to disperse from the Aquarium, the captain was still feeling the joy of Christmas. And hunger. “Hey Sanji, when are you gonna start making breakfast? I’m starvin’ here!” Never mind the fact that Luffy said that while his mouth was stuffed with a piece of meat that Nami had left in his stocking the night before.

“Just give me a second. I want to explore some recipes in my new cookbook,” Sanji replied, holding a rather large book titled _“History’s Greatest Dishes”_ in his hands. A goofy spread across his lips . “THANKS FOR THE GIFT, ROBIN!”

“Cool. Just give us a yell when you’re ready!” Luffy replied. He and the rest of the Straw Hats stepped out of the Aquarium and headed outside while Sanji flipped through the vast pages of his cookbook. As they walked to their rooms, Luffy was getting on everybody’s nerves with his ear-splitting, scratchy crooning of the word “Breakfast.”

“I think Luffy was looking forward to breakfast even more than the gifts,” Usopp remarked.

“Weren’t the milk & cookies enough, Luffy?!” Chopper snapped.

“Milk & cookies? I didn’t eat those,” Luffy replied with a disingenuously innocent grin. “Santa did!”

“It was a most _pleasurable_ evening for Santa indeed, Luffy,” Robin quipped, glancing both at the captain and Nami.

“Robin!” Nami whined, playfully nudging Robin and stifling her giggles.

The comment flew over Zoro, Usopp, Franky, and Brook’s heads, but Chopper squeaked yet again and froze. The rest of the gang stopped and stared at Chopper puzzlingly, and then he took off to the men’s quarters.

“He’s been acting weird all morning,” Nami commented.

“Think he’s saving some surprise gift for us?” Usopp pondered.

“What if Santa’s real and Chopper’s actually one of his reindeers?!” Luffy proposed, sparkles growing in his eyes.

“He’s already his reindeer, ‘Santa.’” Nami mischievously smirked and pulled Luffy by his rubber cheek, earning a few laughs from him. That particular exchange between the captain and the navigator made Usopp quizzically stroke his chin as he wondered if they were in on some sort of elaborate Santa conspiracy…though his mind led him absolutely nowhere.

The men and women of the Straw Hat crew returned to their respective quarters and awaited Sanji’s undoubtedly delicious culinary holiday stylings. Chopper isolated himself in a corner and feverishly rubbed his head, still trying to wrap his brain around what he’d witnessed in the Aquarium that night. Though he was naïve and oblivious to the sexual interactions between humans beyond a purely scientific perspective, it was obvious to him that something went down between Santa and Nami. Something, erm… _inappropriate_ , shall we say. And that was to say nothing of what role Luffy played in all of this, the milk & cookie stealing scoundrel.

“Nami! Robin! I’ve finished preparing your lovely holiday breakfast!” Sanji elatedly called out from the dining room. “Hey, shitheads, your food’s here, too!”

The Straw Hats were all dressed up in Franky’s hideous Christmas Sweaters, as the Cyborg’s persuasive skills were nothing less than super. In a repeat of what had happened minutes earlier, Luffy blazed past everyone else and led the trail into the dining room.

The food laid out on the table looked as delightful as it smelled. Sanji discovered ancient recipes for pancakes, corn-beef hash, bacon, and various other breakfast delights that brought each dish to their full potential. The cook didn’t even get a chance to introduce the food before Luffy leaped into his seat and reached for a plate, earning himself a slap on the wrist.

“Idiot! Nobody eats until Nami and Robin are served first.”

Luffy pouted in his chair while rubbing his sore hand, silently urging Nami and Robin to hurry up and get their food so he wouldn’t have to worry about Sanji assaulting him. By the time their plates were full, Luffy had enough saliva spilling onto his body that it actually made him grow weak.

After Sanji finished filling everyone’s glasses with eggnog, Franky stood up and proudly raised his glass up to the ceiling.

“TO CHRISTMAS JOY!”

The crew followed suit in a toast, and faster than one could say “Gum-Gum Pistol,” Luffy began his ravenous assault of his plate. The dining session was relaxed, as the normally headstrong and bickering band of pirates were exchanging jokes, having laughs, and were even overlooking Luffy’s frequent looting of their plates. The lone exception to the whimsical atmosphere was Chopper, who could only bring himself to nibble on his food stare timidly at his plate. It didn’t help that he was sitting across from Nami, either.

Sanji momentarily left the room and returned wearing the lone Santa hat on the ship over his head and mistletoe in his hand. With love in his eyes, the cook sprang to Nami’s chair and hung the mistletoe over her orange hair, much to her annoyance.

“Oh, Nami! It would appear that we’re both under the mistletoe!” Sanji serenaded with his lips puckered.

Nami awkwardly smiled and scooted her chair away from the curly-browed faux-Casanova. “Uh, I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean,” she fibbed.

Nami’s reluctance only spurred on Sanji’s friskiness. He leaned in even more uncomfortably close to her. “Oh, Nami sweet, you’re so cute when you play coy!”

Before Sanji could get any closer, Luffy’s long arm stretched over Nami and yanked the hat right off of his head. With a childish pout on his face, Luffy shoved the Santa hat over his own head and folded his arms.

“Luffy, what the hell?” Sanji protested.

“Only I can wear the hat! Captain’s order!” Luffy declared.

Sanji rolled his eyes disgustedly planted his hands on his hips. “Oh, so _now_ you decide to actually act like a Captain?!”

“Yeah!” Luffy juvenilely stuck his tongue out at the cook. “Because Christmas hats are _awesome_.”

“YOU ALREADY HAVE YOUR STRAW HAT OFF LIMITS, YOU MORON!”

“Yeah, and now it’s Christmas time. Santa’s the ruler of the whole North Pole, so on a pirate ship the Captain’s like their Santa. So he gets to wear the hat, obviously,” Luffy explained in his unintentionally patronizing manner.

Sanji furrowed his swirly eyebrows and reached out to grab the hat for himself. “That’s the stupidest logic I’ve ever heard in my life! Now give me the damn hat!”

Luffy huffed and folded his arms even tighter against his chest. “Nope. I bet you only want it because you want to be with Mrs. Claus anyway.”

Now Sanji was thoroughly amused. Luffy’s juvenile stubbornness was enough to piss him off, but the fact that he of all people tried to leverage _that_ over him just made him swing his hat back and loudly laugh. The crew laughed as well, although it was at Sanji’s expense.

“Mrs. Claus? Only a suave, well-mannered gentleman with a knack for culinary arts such as myself could be an acceptable suitor for Mrs. Claus. A rubber buffoon like you could never be Santa, because you’d have no idea what to do with her!” Sanji argued.

The last remark drew a sardonic snort of laughter from Nami, who couldn’t help herself from being amused by all of the hilarious irony. The derisive noise brought the memories of what he’d seen the night before back to Chopper’s head, causing him to clutch the fork in his hands so tightly it nearly snapped in half.

“I dunno about that, Sanji,” Nami cut in, still smiling from ear-to-ear. “Maybe Mrs. Claus needs some thrills and adventure in her life after spending so much time in the cold.”

To the shock of absolutely nobody, Sanji’s argument did a complete 180. “An excellent point, my dear! The ideal Santa should be a man who is bold and adventurous, but still showers Mrs. Claus with the love and respect she deserves.”

“Yeah, right.”

The Straw Hats paused, surprised by the bitter mumble that escaped the mouth of the typically spirited and joyful Chopper.

“Whaddaya mean, Chopper?” Usopp inquired.

“Oh, nothing!” Chopper denied with a strained smile on his face. “N-nothing at all!”

“Chopper, what’s wrong?” Nami asked, frowning in concern. “I thought Christmas was your favorite day of the year, but you’ve been acting strange since you woke up.”

“Are you one of Santa’s reindeers and you’re just tired from flying around all night?!” Luffy impatiently cut in, earning himself a slap over the head from Nami.

With his teeth clenched tightly, Chopper broke out into harsh sweats as he kept his eyes glued to his plate. The truth was going to have to spill out sooner or later. “N-no…it’s just…I saw something last night…!”

While the crew leaned in closer to Chopper to see where the story was going, Sanji figured it was going to be some immaterial occurrence that the innocent reindeer’s naïve mind had blown out of proportion. That gave him the ideal time to prepare some more food, so he grabbed a large butcher knife to begin cutting the large lump of smoked ham lying in the oven that he went to great pains to keep out of Luffy’s sight.

“What was it?” Franky asked. “Was Usopp pretending he was one of Santa’s elves so he could see what his gifts were again?”

“Hey! I’ll have you know that was a real elf of the same Longnose tribe from which I descended, and was here to pay me a visit so he could put a face to the brave protagonist of the tales told to him at the North Pole!”

“N-no, it’s not that!” Chopper shrieked. He anxiously swallowed heavily in his throat. “I…I saw…”

“C’mon Chopper, spit it out,” Luffy urged.

“I SAW NAMI KISSING SANTA CLAUS!”

With the exception of three pirates, the crew’s jaws dropped like stones. Drinks sprayed all over the table, partially chewed food spilled from mouths. All eyes turned to the flushed face of Nami, which had guilty written in red all over its cheeks. And as the dots in their heads connected to each other, they all turned to look at the skinny nineteen-year-old rubber man who was insistently donning a Santa hat on his head – his lips were sucked in like he just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Robin could only laugh, having known something was up in the last several weeks after Nami’s nightly trips away from their room and frisky demeanor towards Luffy the following mornings.

“Oh…y-ya don’t say, Chopper! That…that’s quite the story, there!” Luffy nervously stammered. “I mean, _wow_ , Santa sure was up to no good last night. And by Santa, I mean Santa…not me dressed up like him or anything….!” He swiftly removed the smoking gun that was the Santa hat from his head and tugged it behind his back, laughing anxiously the entire time.

Nami gently tapped the woefully fibbing Luffy on his shoulder, her eyes planted on Sanji as she did so. The cook was fixing her secret lover with a glare that was decidedly _not_ filled with Christmas joy. And the tip of that butcher knife he was gripping so tightly in his hands left a gleam that shined distressingly bright in Nami’s eyes.

Nami leaned in closely to Luffy’s ear and whispered something that sounded like directions. Just a split second later, the captain busted through the door and was out of sight.

Sanji undid his apron and calmly grabbed a handkerchief. Idly whistling Christmas tunes, he wiped the knife off with precision, seeming rather non-plussed to the unsuspecting eye about the megaton bomb that had just been dropped. In fact, he was downright serene.

But when he made his methodical, vacant-eyed approach to the dining room’s doorway , the crew knew he was anything but. While his intent left them all at least mildly concerned, Usopp was the lone pirate who stumbled from his chair and stepped into Sanji’s path.

“Um, Sanji, don’t you think you’re being just a little extreme?” Usopp desperately whimpered.

“I just want to talk to him,” Sanji casually replied. His detached gaze was fixed on the blade in his hand.

Running out of options, Usopp rubbed the back of his hair and nervously laughed. “Yeah, I’m sure you do! I’ll just need you to put that knife away, and-“

“I just want to talk to him.”

Sanji was so single-mindedly focused on his march to the doorway that he didn’t even hear Zoro’s raucous laughter and jokes at his expense.

Usopp followed Sanji as he left the room and attempted to grab his arm and inject a last-minute stream of reason into him. “Oh, c’mon Sanji, we all know you didn’t _really_ have a chance with Nami, so just chill out!”

“I just want to talk to him.”

A bird flew across Sanji’s face, and the irritable cook slashed it with such speed it escaped even Usopp’s eyesight. All he saw was a pile of feathers and its severed remains fall to the grass. “See, you already took it out on the poor bird! Birds, rubber Captains, what’s the difference?!”

“I just want to talk to him.”

“But San-“

“I just want to talk to him.”

“Cut it ou-“

“I just want to talk to him.”

“What if Luffy and Nami were just up all night baking cookies, and-“

“I just want to kill him. I just want to talk to him.”

Just when Usopp lost all hope, Sanji’s serial killer-esque expression abruptly perked up and he looked out to the vast ocean. “Whoa, look at that! That’s got to be the biggest Sea King I’ve ever seen! Boy I tell ya, Usopp, I don’t think Luffy would know where to begin if he was gonna eat this thing!”

“WHERE?!”

Too easy.

Luffy jumped out from Nami’s surveying room, where he’d kept himself hidden in a closet. When he made it outside and the only thing he saw was Sanji with a butcher knife in his hand and a murderous snarl on his face while Usopp murmured behind him, it only took two seconds for him to realize his greed had given him a one-way ticket right into a death trap.

“Get over here, you little son of a bitch!”

Luffy ran for his life while Sanji wildly chased after him wielding his blade of death. Usopp was hot on his trails, feverishly trying to talk the cook out of his haze of bloodlust even as it fell on deaf ears. While the prospect of Straw-Hat-kabob for dinner anguished Usopp, he was reassured by how much Luffy and Sanji seemed to be enjoying themselves deep down throughout this great chase.

“Oohhhhh, so it was just Luffy _dressed_ like Santa. Wow, how silly of me!” Chopper laughed at the dining table, finding humor in his naiveté after Nami explained the relevant details of what occurred the night before. However, that reminded him of something else on his mind, which made him so angry he transformed into his Human body. “Hey wait, that means Luffy _was_ the one who stole the milk and cookies! LUFFY, GET BACK HERE! THOSE WERE FOR SANTA!”

Chopper burst from his chair and took off after Luffy as well. Nami couldn’t help but laugh at the chaos that was customary for a ship captained by the guy who thrilled her when the lights were off. Of course, she had been quivering in her seat just moments ago – Sanji’s reaction was exactly why she and Luffy kept their nights of passion a secret. But they were a tight band of friends, so Nami could rest easy knowing that Sanji probably didn’t want to _actually_ kill Luffy. Probably.

Zoro snickered while leaning back in his chair. “So you and Luffy, eh Nami? Can’t say it’s not a good fit, but I never figured Luffy even paid attention to women…or that a girl like you wasn’t just trying to hustle some money out of him.”

Nami stuck her tongue out at Zoro for his remark, but then she smiled and shrugged. “Trust me Zoro, it’s a loooong story.” But hey, at least she and Luffy didn’t need to sneak around anymore…though she suspected she was going to need to have Franky soundproof the walls once Sanji got over it.

“Save it. Alls I care is that it’s got the stupid cook _mortified_ ,” he laughed while taking a sip of his eggnog.

“If Luffy’s, ahem, _involved_ with you, Nami, then that means…” Now Brook was the one who was jumping from his chair and chasing after Luffy. “Hey Luffy, wait! What kind of panties did Nami have on last night?!"

Nami had forgotten the embarrassment of her affair being revealed and charged after Brook. “You better not tell him a single thing, Luffy!” Yup, she was going to need to get those walls soundproofed ASAP.

That left Franky, Robin, and Zoro as the only remaining members of the crew at the dining table, and they were watching the fracas occurring outside with amusement. Zoro took yet another swig of his eggnog and smirked at his fellow cohorts.

“So, you two have any secrets you’d like to share?”


End file.
